Fear....of Everything.

May 31, 2011
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Fear –
of what? –
of fear itself
of being afraid of being frightened
of being overcome by feeling, by fear
of losing sight of reality
or not knowing what it is,
of taking fear and making it a natural state
to be in.

Fear –
of what? –
of seeing that which I do not want to
of not seeing what I know I must, what i
know I need to see, although I do not want to
of seeing nothing – everything –
of seeing myself in clear, harsh light.

Fear –
Again? – Yes -
Of what, this time? –
fear of being afraid of myself
fear of seeing pictures in the shadows
fear of driving myself to madness because
I cannot distinguish between the shadows, and the
light.

Fear –
Fear –
fear of having fallen
ff falling through an endless chasm
ff setting out and never nearing end,
ff setting out, then coming back again
of leaving, of regretting that I dido
Of confusion, of despair

Fear,
of repetition
of being naturally unable of original thought
for if I think a thought, then I have thought it,
and therefore it is already old, and used,
which – fearfully soon – translates to bland,
traditional, unoriginal, used-up, washed-out thought,
which is no longer original or unconventional or exceptional,
which is no longer one-of-a-kind, no longer “avant-garde” –
Not that that means anything. What is considered avant-garde is
automatically rendered conventional, traditional, unremarkable,
by being considered something which can be
named, and termed, and filed.

Fear
of fear itself;
it has been said that that is all we have to fear.
Do I agree?
I fear fear and the fear it brings
I fear the fears I fear and the minds I’m fearing.
Fear –
Of what?-
Of whence, of whom? -
Of everything.





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