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Crying

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I try to show no pain or feeling
Trying to be little ms sunshine
But when no one is around I drop to the ground
Giving up on everything
The tears I've held in are show
They run like bars down my face
Telling my self That no more can become of me
I need to give up before they choice for me
All of you are to blame
I feel my true hatred for you
For making me walk around hating all who smile
Pretending, lying that everyone lives this way
I've lost every emotion I should have
More than thankful for the little things
Yet nothing I can hold and say this is mine
Waking up soaked from the tears I didn't know I cried
My heart ripping apart from all the pain
I know I must live
I must be strong
I'm the rock for people who have lost there's
Or never even had one
When they could no longer walk
I do it for them
I carry them
Asking, wishing for everything to be okay
For me to find what left I have of my self
To know what it could have been like to be human
Once told I forgot
Yet I never even knew
Knowing, feeling nothing
Yet shedding tears
Slowing losing it all
The feeling of being stuck here forever
Am I really lost
Or do I not want to be found
Everything going the wrong way
Leaving me cold and alone
My mind now left in a flutter
Listing to depressing things
Words, quotes, songs, anything
Looking at photographs when there is not a cut on my body
Nothing but the true smile I don't remember
Holding everything good
As the bars across my face show the truth
I know I am left alone and cold
Crying





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