I could have wrote down, every thought, I’ve been streaming these past years; all drenched with your name, but I think I need some balance in my life right now. I’ve scanned my brain inside out, one question shines like a lantern. Am I allowed to scream aloud for the whole world to hear me? I’ll tell them how vain you pretend to be, but on the inside you’re breaking at the seams.How you tell people every thing’s okay, when your wrist sing differently.You’re a level A catastrophe, but you stood strong it was the best for us.I cut your string; painfully, as though to save the way we were. Yet now what we had swings by a thread. I’m no longer your secret or your lie, just another mistake in your sky. Somebody take me back to the times where we were confused, but love struck in such a deep haze. Where you loved me like your Juliet, and you my realistic Romeo. When we had a fired up love in our flaming youth. Your eyes no longer rest on me; so warm and hypnotic, but they’ve gone cold and I long for the old.You’ll be my Captain Smith, I can play Pocahontas we’ll have a thoughtless love affair and when father tries to kill you, I’ll hold you and scream as loud as my lungs can contain “don’t you dare!”. You’re not perfect and trust me I’ve excepted that, but don’t look so confused when I’m gone. I’ll try to get over you; don’t get me wrong I wont, but I’ll fight with every ounce of my might, to keep you out of my head at night. I’ve noticed the drugs never work ,but they cause hideous smirks. Yet then cutting your wrist only lets off red slits, not really fixing the unfixed. Maybe the only way would be to say good bye for the rest of my days. But the practical solution is for you to hold me tight, and stay much longer than just one night. Now am I allowed to scream aloud for the whole world to hear me? I’ll tell them how vain you have made me, sewing up all my broken seams.How I tell people I’m okay, when my heart sings another melody.I’m a level A catastrophe, but until you come back to fix me, I’ll stand tall and just look to the sky and pray for a glimmering star not to pass me by while my eyes are closed so tight.
June 8, 2011