in this burning cold
this bright darkness
this dull exuberance
this warmth in find in this absence of heat
these questioning answers
this colorful blackness

it all pushes me into this
clarity which clouds my mind
i am forced into the cherished steady instability

my life was this
then you found me in my organized chaos
you were my hero
you gave me exactly what i needed
but of course it didn’t last
you leave me back in it mess
without even looking back
it was a pleasurable torture

i love you

i’m back in this burning cold
but i will wait a short eternity
only for you