LOST FIRST LOVE

May 27, 2011
By poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh


When I came out on the moon....
I never thought that I would win a heart.
You see the human far away....
From all the changing shapes.

But when I saw, and when I stayed,
Through all the changing colors.
I though all the happy days,
Would pass between.

I, crazed at a sight,
Struck friend and foe to the ground.
And when returned to me,
I saw a love of hate.

When I restored came out to greet,
The pretty face I missed.
It appeared to change, and gaze and look,
Away, far off from me.

I saw the burning light grow dim,
And anguish turning to hate.
I saw the twinkle of an eye,
And tears that gave me pain.

I saw a rose of purple pink,
Rushing in the light of day.
But never did I see the ones,
I miss now to this day.


The author's comments:
This was inspired by a feeling I had. Though, I exaggerated to make a more dramatic scene.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 20 comments.


on Jan. 22 2012 at 9:34 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

I can't help but agree with megsloveslions, the imagry in this poem is beyond amazing! I don't know why more people don't have imagry like this in their works, lack of talet? of creativity? I don't know, but you certainly did an awesome job. I love it out loud!

on Dec. 6 2011 at 5:27 pm
megsloveslions GOLD, Thomasville, Pennsylvania
11 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live like there's no tommorow

Love the poem, love the imagery,  great work!

on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:04 am
sophza PLATINUM, Sacramento, California
21 articles 14 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." ~Ferris Bueller

"When I came out on the moon...." could mean that you are in a new, unfamiliar, and kind of beautifully alien place. It made sense to me. By the way, awesome job!

on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:22 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

totally, with all the strange names I don't even pay atantion to them really!!!!!

on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:09 pm
LifesIllusion BRONZE, Cicero, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let your fears slow you down. Instead, chase them down and beat them."

Haha its okay! It's kinda hard to keep everyone straight on here. Lol

on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:05 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

oh gosh i'm so sorry I totaly screwed up there. I thought you were someone els for a moment there!!! oh I'm embarised please forgive me!!!!!! Ah!

on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:03 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

okay, thanks so much, I just looked at backwards mirrors and absolutetly loved it, but I'll look at the one you sujest here!

on Nov. 29 2011 at 7:58 pm
LifesIllusion BRONZE, Cicero, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let your fears slow you down. Instead, chase them down and beat them."

AMAZING imagery. I can't get over how good this poem is:) Obviously if you can write with this good of attention to detail you are a skilled writer. Now will you check out my piece Beginning of the End? Thanks. Comment back:)

on Nov. 26 2011 at 9:59 pm
dontforget GOLD, Cortland, New York
15 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best things in life are left unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream."

Wow! This is really good! I love the abstract ideas within it!(:

on Nov. 26 2011 at 5:57 pm
Simplemelody GOLD, Otisco, Indiana
17 articles 12 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
May the sun always shine on your windowpane; May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; May the hand of a friend always be near you; May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Excellent job with great imagery. Loved the poem great job. This poem also has a feeling of wonderment for some reason.

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 8:51 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

I really like this poem - I especially like your use of imagery and how it affects the overall message!

ams98 said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 6:57 pm
ams98, Brighton, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 39 comments
That is really great....good job:) I really enjoyed it:)

kat2.0 SILVER said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 12:10 pm
kat2.0 SILVER, Sparrowbush, New York
5 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
life is short so go for it

Your an incredible writer and this poem is outstanding

on Jul. 15 2011 at 11:39 pm
RFrocker23 PLATINUM, Ballwin, Missouri
22 articles 1 photo 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

You have a really beautiful way of writing. It's abstract but has this really clear message beneath it. Keep it up.

on Jul. 15 2011 at 1:44 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

thanks a lot!!!! Personally this is one of my favorite poems I've written in a long time! :) ;) i really like your stuff!!!

on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:24 am
emanmkhan SILVER, Austin, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.\" Maya Angelou

You had me hooked to this!

on Jul. 14 2011 at 9:56 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

yeah, I don't really understand the first line ether. It was just the way I discribed my feeling.

on Jul. 14 2011 at 8:39 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.
~Some random person on the Internet :P

I don't really understand the first line... and keep in mind for future reference that you don't need punctuation at the end of every line. Other than that it's great. :)

on Jun. 28 2011 at 7:03 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Well thank you! I sometimes have these strange out bursts of feelings which come through poetry!

on Jun. 28 2011 at 8:54 am
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

Oh my goodness! 12 stars out of 5! Really nice job!


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!