AGGGHHH! That was the sound when I opened my mouth. I screamed because of the hopelessness feeling I felt inside. I screamed your name; my screams went deaf to your ear. I screamed your name because I couldn’t help myself from the monster. I wasn’t strong enough to fight off its claws and fangs. I closed my eyes hoping you would come in the nick of time. But before you could save the day, the clouds became red and the moon black. The monster tackled me to the Earth. Biting away at my soul, and clawing at my self-esteem. I tried to run away from the monster when it became tired. I ran until I seen a little purple in the sky. I knew then the blue was soon to come. Then it seemed the monster’s arm was elastic and could stretch for miles. And slammed me back to Earth then dragged me back. Scraping my dignity against the concrete. Then I was being attacked again. I asked the monster why me. It said I'm special. It said it wanted to control me. I told it you will never have my mind, body, or soul. It became enraged and lifted its feet and began to kick at my walls knocking me further into the Earth. I laughed making the monster even madder. I promised after the first time I will never cry again. I will never call out someone who didn’t love me enough to save me. I can never be angry at you, because you are scared of the monster that rules my world. You choose not to help me. It doesn’t matter because I have grown to be friends with the monster. It protects me from getting hurt. It doesn’t look at my imperfections. After the dust has settled it is still by my side. And when I screamed for its help it swooped down with its amber clouds, and midnight black moon. Saving me form you, because I couldn’t fight off your beautiful smile, and love.
May 27, 2011