Something To Think About

May 26, 2011
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You haven't lived unless you've really loved and
Then really hurt when you realized your empty
Without that special person and lastly, when you've really laughed;
Laughed at your adolescent stupidity and your newly growing wisdom
As you've accounted for all your mistakes and transformed them into life lessons.
If all this escapes you, then the Essence of life hasn't yet been seized and you only exist in an ever changing habitat...


He says I have no turmoil in the heart. Maybe because he has my heart. I love you
Just isn't enough to express how I feel. Even though you hurt me
Time and Time again,
It's Okay
Because I know your Heart and that Is why I will love you Forever.
I may have had you first, but she has you longer and the thought
Of you being with her agonizes me because I want
To have the gift of your love.
In a sense I do have a piece...But I wonder if she has the rest.
I may not know her, but I know she is good for you.
Am I better, I do not know; I don't compare myself to her.
But if you love someone, you have to love him enough
To let him go, and if he comes back you know that he shares that same love for you as you do for him.
I know for a fact
That I do not want to share my world with anyone else; but how can I promise myself to one man I'm madly in love with and never know if he will be Mine in every.way.possible.
I can't; I'm not looking for love because I already found it,
I'm just patiently waiting for something that may never come; and if I ever find someone to understand my complex ass the way he does, he will Remind me of him because I compare every guy that comes along to him.Why I do this I'm unsure, it's just that I know what I want and
I will never give up on him.
But he's occupied; I think he's torn between two lovely ladies and wants both
Even though it's wrong it seems right. Love is blurry like that.
He says I find happiness in everything; if he only knew how cold my heart is, how black and dark things have been. I feel
Suffocated and Unhappy...But then he comes and takes it all away with his captivating eyes allowing me into his soul.
He Leaves and I'm back at One.
I respect her too much to have him deceive her like that; but he did and in a way so did I, but I don't judge him, never did, never will.
Question his actions yes, from time to time. But love is so damn twisted and crazy;
It's a euphemism for depression and bipolar disorder and going the f*** crazy and losing your head all the while keeping composure.
It's just that as much as I say no and try to fight him off, he knows as much as I do how bad I want him.I crave him.And that's why I say no so much And attempt to resist even though I always give in to desire. I'm fighting a losing battle.
This wicked love triangle;
Me.Him and Her.
I hate being the other girl, I want to be his, but that's just the way it is. I know he is faithful, despite his past (who really gives a flying f*** of what Others think, I sure as hell don't) and I would do anything for him, no matter what wrong or right he does to me; this is just the way that I love you.





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