little girl

May 25, 2011
Naive and desensitized.
searched so longingly for self preservation
without identification of ones true self.
ive longed for you sweetest friend, come back soon again.
ive let you engulf me through every orifice of my exterior.
ive had you so many, but lost beyond your worth.
the next time, it wont be so meaningless.
i collect you like trinkets, only to let you exacerbate the deterioration of a mind so young.
only to let you simultaneously adorn and eat away my being.
i let your words flow through my ears, slipping past my conscious.
my sweetest friend is in higher regards than you are.
vessel of the human i once was, the humanity i once contained.
you fill me up, sweetest friend, temporarily at best.
theyve criticized my consumption of you, sweetest friend.
they say im the shell of who i once was.
youre not to blame sweetest friend, i was always a vessel regardless.
caverns of my mind stretch deep letting you excite me, entice me, euthanize me.
a wonder you are.
a composition of which my imagination continuously reckons with.
they wonder what i try to prove by loving you so dear.
a romance of epic porportions.
you leave so many lost and contorted.
not me, never me.
you dissapear with time and desire deepening.
i willed you to stay like none of them did.
i yearn for you like a little girl would.
id couldnt leave you like a little girl should.
i come back only like a little girl could.

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