Only The Start

By
15 years I’ve been here.
Alive,
If thats what you want to call it.
I’ve experienced the darker sides of this world,
the darkest parts of humanity.

My pain,
our “savior’s” amusement.
This world has taken everything and more..
Being in the dark is hard enough at night,
now imagine it everyday..
I’m alone in this fight.

It stings like a knife stab to the heart,
knowing I have nothing anymore..
Who am I and what do I stand for?

Another tear,
another manufactured smile,
another day pretending to live.
Another loss but never a win.

I’ll never forget that day,
it hurts as if it were only yesterday.
The day you realized you didn’t need me.
I wasn’t good enough to keep,
for that,
I owed you the world.


You weren’t my boyfriend,
only a friend,
I wanted too much and lost in the end.

I guess I should’ve known
the day you said goodbye,
was the day I began to cry and cry.

Eventually I ran out of tears and I found something,
something better then tears,
blood.

I owed you so much,
I was ashamed to know I wasn’t enough..
Enough for you to stay.
I wasted your time.
It was my fault and I deserved more,
more than just hurt.

My hair curtained my face,
that was the day I chose to leave it that way.
I sat there with a razor in my hand.
I thought and thought..
I thought it was worth it so I shut my eyes
and cut.



It hurt,
but not as bad as the pain in my heart.
Little did I know..
That was only the start.





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