Maybe Someday We'll Mean It

May 23, 2011
By hurshikissx3 PLATINUM, Merrimca, Massachusetts
hurshikissx3 PLATINUM, Merrimca, Massachusetts
24 articles 0 photos 2 comments

You're moving; flowing,
finding places to explore, knowing
what exactly it is
that you want.
I'm weeping, kneeling, feeling
things I couldn't ever explain to you,
because whenever I try you pull me
right through those hoops, that damn ring,
and again I can't make plain
how much it stings, how much I wish
some days the fire on my
skin would just burn out.

Even though I'm breaking,
even as you're holding any
part of me, every, you can't seem to
find the deepest place, the farthest
face inside of me
(though god, it's obvious
that you're trying...)

It's not an area of expertise,
up until now I would've rather
be a "tease" than expose
that covert part of me.
It's unpredictable, susceptible only
to cold and flu-like symptoms, a cracking
heart, abandoned starts,
it can't hold your hand because it's wrists
have taken such a beating, lost, unwilling,
defeating nothing but the positive
leaving such a causative reaction, one I've
grown to stone to cover up the bruises.

You are a light, I can see that when we
open our mouths (to talk)
Maybe I'm burning you out, I just stop
And doubt whatever it is that we're doing

But I can't play victim here, nor
monster, we're equally responsible
for loss, fears, like we won't even make it
to prom. I'm sorry but I've never been
that kind of girl. You replaced her in the fall
(with a skeleton)

With me, in the dark, you're just a shadow
of a lover, fit the space, run the pace
(well actually, one much faster
than you'd think)
I always feel something, though
it's never in your heart.
(I know if it was in this, I could
find it. I'm good at that kind
of stuff)
What if it's not there anymore?
What if the first time, you were right
to give it away? Maybe it doesn't belong
to me in the first place- a lost race,
you shouldn't bother running
(Please, don't just enjoy the
ride. Don't do this to me.)
I'll admit I said it in the first place,
those three words too late, empty
our space, just held it together long enough
to tear us both apart.

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