Dear Ana....

May 22, 2011
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I blew out the stars last night
Allured the cold inside
To wrap around my bones,
To freeze this moment in time for just
A little peace.

My breath stains the window pane
Reminds me I'm still alive
Could've fooled me
I feel nothing here in this vacant space
Where once there was
Everything
Grazing against my fingertips.

Butterfly in the corner,
Have you two broken wings?
Why, oh why would you attempt to fly
When all that's lovely backfires?
Delicacy must be handled with care
But wait...
That's why I am here alone.

Delicacy is distortion.

My defenses went slack and
You captured me,
Held me incarcerated in a mason jar
And I watched you intently,
As you smiled satisfactory,
When my tears grew you roses.

You have made a fortune off my malady....

Several crippled attempts to break free
Only left me more subdued
Giving up was easier,
So much easier
And I ceased to tune out your
Haunted lullaby.

I fought with death
Barely won all the rounds as you
Feasted on my heart, my body
Leaving nothing but bone
And the echo of life...
A voice that was no longer my voice,
Eyes that were no longer my eyes
And a body that was no longer my body.....

All I am is a skeleton of broken hopes and dreams
Still fighting to win MY voice back
But you won't let go
And when you do
I panic
And I am the one holding on for dear life,
But you and I both know
Holding on for dear life is a lie...

We are holding on to fatality.





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