Process of Elimination

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Fallen hope
Like leaves in the autumn,
Leaving me scattered
And shattered
Strength tattered
And I'm aware that it doesn't matter
To you.
You who lifted me up
Just to throw me down
Don't perceive my silence as not making a sound
I'm screaming as you bury me 6 feet under ground
I loved you once, but I
Don't
See
How.


Have I been blind
All this time
Confusing what could never be
For what was mine?
Maybe I've been holding onto
A stitch of a dream
Maybe loving someone is never what it seems
But I'd give ANYTHING to believe
That I won't always get burned wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I don't wanna give up
But I don't know if I have a choice
Sometimes doing nothing
Is better than doing something
So I'll sit in the sidelines
Cross my fingers, close my eyes
Take a breath, will myself not to cry
Every now and then the only way
Is
Goodbye.

Shadows linger and
Memories stalk the halls
Of this hollow mind
And the vacant sensation never goes away
The one last thread I'm hanging to starts to fray
I'm miles off the ground with no one to belay
As the storm rolls in, I begin to sway.
In comes the rage
The feeling of complete abandon
As I am here to fight the rain
Alone
On my own
And you never showed
Up.
You were so cut-throat
Left me high and dry
With the thought that the last four years
Have been
Nothing
But a lie.

A war is composing inside
This body lavished in anguish
As you face this world
With a smile on your face
And I am the one suffering from this empty space
Do I deserve this, or has the feeling been misplaced
I'm not a better person
I won't
Rise
With grace.
It's just not right
And the knife twists further in
How much more blood will I bleed?
You were the only one I'd ever need
Maybe I wrapped around your throat, choked you, like a weed
I tried so hard to win your affection that
You
Never
Heed.

And now I'm tired of these carousel rides
You force me on
The circles never end
And I know you'll tell me
To take a look at myself
It's never you, always someone else
Look at me, skin and bones, it's compromising me health
I can't stay and end up
Only
A
Shell.
I am truly sorry
I never meant it to take this direction
Never knew there'd be so many complications
Obligations
Alienation's to this love
In the process of elimination,
There was no consolation
Goodbye was my only chance
And I pray for the call
Of the
Mourning dove.





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