Hush...

May 22, 2011
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Little girl hiding
Behind this smile that continues
Subsiding
In a world where I don't know why
But I keep providing
An image the world wants to see,
An image that never portrays
The real me,
But I keep on delivering
Inside everything, my heart, keeps shriveling
And soon I'll have nothing left.

Little girl scared
Nothing's the same, nothing remains that was once there
Unknown faces and spaces everywhere
And nobody can see that she's stripped bare
Her heart will tear
All over again,
Because circles are constant and never end
She's on a carousal that her pain defends.
And all I want to hear is your voice
This world without you would never be my choice
I can't hear anything over this white noise
But the little girl hiding inside
She screams as her world,
My world,
Is destroyed.

Little girl made of tears
The hurt has never felt so severe
You're drowning in an ocean of a million fears
Right or left, you don't know
Because what you know is nowhere near,
Everything has never been so unclear.
It's a struggle for you to not disappear
But you hold onto hope that what you loved and lost
Will reappear
So you cling to that thought and persevere
Count all the scars you have as souvenirs
And you'll never forget how daunting it felt
To be stuck here.

Little girl tightly wound
You force it all so far down
You've gotten so good at it,
You do it without sound
Just look at you now!
You know you got from there to here but...
How?
There's no fight left inside of you
You're so willing to watch yourself drown,
And I am you so you are me
I am only your shadow, I'll follow you down
There's nothing left for us here anyhow

Little girl, Little girl
Why don't you scream?
Why aren't you mean?
Why are you going down without a scene?
There is nothing left in between!
Come out, Come on!
Do what you have to do!
Throw yourself around til you're black and blue!
Release that venom you expertly spew!
Do something, anything!
This gunshot injury is not a simple through and through!

Little girl silently weeps
A twisted lullaby that will coax her into sleep
But the internal wound is just too deep
It has been eating right through me.
And I wonder how you feel,
Wonder all the time if it was a quick heal
Because for me it seems so unreal
Confined in this adult body, but really
A child concealed
Missing you, needing you
Is so bluntly revealed.

But I loved you and so I let you go....





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