Everything has changed.
It is a new game with new rules.
How come no one told me what they are?
I used to go on the computer for Webkinz.
Now I rush home.
To check out the “Who’s hot and Who’s not” list
Everyone was talking about it at school today.
While waiting to log on I tell myself,
This is silly.
It doesn’t even matter.
But please don’t let me be not hot.
Mouse snapping.
Keyboard crackling.
My eyes popping.
Come on, Philip, turn it off.
It doesn’t matter.
Do it already.
But as the screen loads
I think, “Please don’t be not hot.”
Thank God.
But is not being not hot mean I am hot?
Sigh of relief.
It looks like I fooled everyone.
Maybe these lists aren’t so silly after all?
Play dates used to be guys just playing basketball,
Throwing the football.
Having fun.
Now girls show up wearing makeup,
Short skirts,
Uggs.
No one throws a ball anymore.
It is all about making the girls laugh.
Being cool.
Am I the only one not having fun?
What’s wrong with me?
My friends are no longer boys.
They are tall,
Strong,
Deep voices,
Some even shave.
I feel like a little boy looking over a fence
At members of a club which I don’t belong to.
I don’t get it.
Everyone says you’re lucky.
You don’t want to peak in middle school.
But high school seems like a million years away.
I want to peak right now!
I want this to be “my” year.
But it’s not.
It is Saturday night, and I am at a party at Jane’s house.
Suddenly it feels like Noah’s Arc with couples pairing off in twos.
I see Sarah moving toward me.
Smiling.
Now I know why I was invited.
Whatever happened to capture the flag?
Grown-ups always say they would die to be a kid again.
So would I.