I turn around quickly, trying to catch a glance
At the store window showing a pair of fabulous pants
With sequins and glitter all sewed down the side
I want to wear those pants on my next joy ride
I can imagine those pants hugging my thighs
As the colors so bright take me to new highs
The pants so refreshing like a cool summers breeze
And because of these pants my friends will call me a tease
But it doesn’t matter what everyone thinks
So what, if these pants give me a few kinks
These pants, oh these pants!
I shall wear them to France!
I’ll wear them when I party with my friends all night
Tearing up the dance floor, it will be quite a sight
I’m starting to drool as I gaze through the glass
Those pants are filled with sizzle and sass
I reach into my pocket to get out some dough
But alas I am as poor as a hungry hobo
My heart stopped its beating, as I start to cry
Oh Why! Oh Why! Oh why can’t I buy!
Those fabulous pants with the sequins and glitter
But now that I can’t buy them it makes me feel bitter
Oh why do they tease me and taunt me so
I can’t let this happen, no, no, no, NO!
I pick up a stone that’s as big as my head
And throw it through the window feeling no dread
I snatch up those pants and dash from the street
The only sound I can hear is the running of feet
But the pants, so amazing are finally mine!
It is as though I got help from something divine
I feel so good, although I committed a sin
I feel like shouting I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN!
I rush to my house so anxious to try
on my new pants, oh how I do sigh
but then I remember how they came into my possession
my heart falls as though it is in a recession
Oh what disgust I feel for the act I have done
Now I can’t wear my pants, so whats the fun
These pants that I love, and brought me such joy
Are as useless to me as milk made from soy
The pants I stole, my lovely prize
Are now a token I thoroughly despise
Oh no, my pants I do despair
For you I now shall never wear!
The feel of denim round my waist
But now I must truly make haste
I need to get home to try on these trousers
My heart is stampeding like a pack of Bowsers*
I get to my house and throw open the door
Lock myself in my room and toss my pants on the floor
Clutching the fabulous pants to my chest
I take a deep breath and hope for the best.
I slide one leg in, and then put in the next
The pants seem to laugh, oh I hate how they vex
I tug and I pull, and I pull and I tug
But the pants feel as nice as an uncomfortable hug
The pants are too small, I shout out into the air
But I feel as though no one would ever truly care
I rip off the pants, my heart filled with hate
These pants teased me so and I took the bait
Ever since I first saw them I have sealed my fate
I’d repent from my sins, but I fear it’s to late
I glare at the pants, I now must destroy
I have an idea I’ll really enjoy
I throw my pants out the window to the people below
My plan is pure evil! I cackle like a crow
And a response from someone in the river of ants
I hear from my window someone yelling “Nice pants!”