You hold back your tears because no one else was crying and you feared that they were gonna say something. You call out his name hoping that he would come to you but he doesn't. Everyone is sad because you have lost a part of your family. Your brothers and dad are mad, your mom tried to avoid the subject, and you you feel like its all your fault. You call out his name again and yet again he doesn't come. The next day you outside hoping he'll be at the door, but no one's there. Its been months now and you fear that he may be out there lost, starving, tired and longing for the comfort of home. Then you calm yourself down, and when you finally think your over it you have a dream that he comes home and everything is fine. Now you still blame yourself for that night, and you realize that you would never really get over it.