Putting me in another setting.
Where I lost it, and here I started betting,
Saying that I could make it.

I promised it,I swear it,but I didn't even believe it.
You put me in a wonder land?
I would explain further but you wouldn't understand.

I saw rainbows and sunshine, and all this kindness.
Where were all the criminals today? and the boring ness.
I stood there, you can guess the expression in my face.
That I hate it, I hated this stupid place.

Placed in heaven for me to stand out.
Everyone spoke of "love" but I didn't even know what it was about?
I stood without saying how much I wanted to leave .
Because I couldn't say stories no one would believe.

And you wanted me to finally play by the rules.
To learn and care for myself and see my arms and legs as tools.

The sun so bright, it just stood there.
People, so skinny and happy and stood there but didn't even stare.
The rainbows across the sky,
so colorful I couldn't hide from them, not anymore.
And maybe this was a bad dream, so I shut my eyes and count to 4.


Flashing lights, ticking clocks,beeping cars.
A new song with the sweet sounds of guitars.
Black ink staining the paper, perfect illusion.
Fame,drugs, and alcohol was never me? What caused you confusion?
Each and every scar scribbled across arm.
New city,town,country,planet and still no kind of harm.

Yellow, and blue and purple colors aren't what I would have wanted for me.
With my eyes tightly closed, so I wouldn't see.
Little red dot, that looked infected,
and the pain struck from being rejected.
Not when it came to being me or pretending I was.
No one really knows exactly who I was.

Nobody, yes I, yes me, I was a nobody.
Best friend if you could hear me from here it would be nice.
It seems everything is crashing down like ice.
For example, a relationship that seem to last forever.
Making us turn into hating each other, and maybe we weren't meant to be.

But you'll be a hero to me.
Baby, no one has made me wish I was deader than can be.
You turn my words into guns, bombs that only I can hear, when they explode.
Doesn't matter anymore, it just doesn't hurt anymore.
It's time, the words run away from this page.
Because they are as scared as me, as I pressured the point with all my rage.
Even now, the tears fallout,
all you had to say was a new lie that you made out.

But enough about you,
your not the important one here.
I'm talking importance and it can't be you.

Because you always think everything is about you.
My failure that follows me like a best friend.
A best friend that I'll never have, don't argue with me,
these losers do nothing but pretend.

Dear you,

Best friend, call it please, whatever you wish.
I wrote this yesterday,
Honey, I memorized this,
as I broke the white dish,
Smashed into tiny pieces, just like my heart, right?
Honey, you noticed?
Say yes, no?
That old dear, Scarleth, dear, hasn't slept last night.
Love you,best friend, you'll never know what happened, best friend?
The girl,she,fat girl,in my eyes,yes beautiful girl,
I loved her, best friend, yes till the end.

Fight, yes best friend, huge fight,
with the future of what it had for us.
I hate her now,I told her,
I hope it burns like fire, tell me if it does?

Best friend I cried,
Honey, don't worry
Scarleth, yes me, yes her, she's fine,
she tried.
She tried to forget, forget all of the problems, memories, and call it a simple regret.

Best friend, you should be proud of what was me, I'll explain this:
Scarleth Kong, yes me, hasn't jumped off the edge and she went through all of this.
Since you have always been there,
you listen, and you truly care,
I wanted you to know, everything from me.
Not from someone who will pretend they heard it from me.

Best friend, read the rest of my story?
The one, I wrote today, because Best friend, I'll make history.
I'll be famous some day.
Problem after problem,story after story, I'll make history some way.
Remember I'm here, because your here.
You stand in front of me, and dry each and every tear.
Thank you,
Love<3,
Scarleth Kong.

Every memory returning, flashing like some picture.
Images only, I could picture,
She fools everyone,but not me, she's a liar,
and tries to convince me,
She's not an angel, she's a 100% fake,
She can't get it through me, even it I wasn't wake.

When was the last time, I felt like I stood out.
I was different, without a doubt.
Simple letters, simple science that to me turned into huge problems blocking me like walls.
But nothing, nothing of course,
I felt there were no missing calls.
I was where I was supposed to be.
I was someone, I was me.
I could, have my own movie, no one would watch.
I'm the puzzle piece from another picture that never match.
I never fit in, I was always an outsider.

You placed me here,
just to drown, like the rest of my fears.
All of this makes me confuse.
What was time now? Tell me what's its use?
Time, time, time,
Something that lets things happen in it own way.
And how do I leave?
This life of perfection.
This life, that I hided from even my own reflection.

It made things harder than it could have been.
I miss the old times, I miss my house....
I don't want to be here.
I moved and sat and came back into thinking that I've thinking a whole year.
I cried, and remembered that I want to hide,
wishing that I could've just died.

Thinking and saying that someone could call me a doctor since I've been bleeding all day.
My wrists so smashed in blood,
and I always wanted to die that way.
The wind falling like tears, I guess that's how I felt.
While, I waited as the snow slowly tried to melt.

Thinking of my best friend, and saying how she was always right.
I whispered oh best friend, I can't, I can't fight.
The pain, was nothing exciting, it was plain and dull.
The floor,black as a rock, without a space, left without blood, completely full.

I was incomplete,
I wasn't strong enough to walk away,
I was now weak.
Closed eyes, I stood,
it was a final goodbye, and this had been real good.

But sorry, then I woke up,
and saw the snow had fallen, and all that happened was a dream,
I had made up.
I guess, I don't die after all,
I stand there, against the wall.
Your smile,you, nothing, your dead.
In your gave, with the pitch black roses, I gave.

No tears, now, yes best friend, that's how it suddenly, ends.
Since I wrote this last week,
after my old friend, stabbed me so hard, I couldn't speak.
It was hard, I bet you can tell.
Well, I guess, we'll meet in hell?

Or maybe that isn't where I'm going after all, because right now,
all I can see is the moon posing tall.
And maybe, I haven't died and maybe
just maybe there's something left for me.

I can't think what part of me, would let you stay and not go?
Because your all selfish, you don't let me go.
I had let go 2 years ago.
I had gave up and there wasn't any more hope.
I had, written, unwritten,rewritten, and tied and untied the rusty long rope.

I had sang, and ran and,know what would happen.
I was ready, for death in a second.

But I won't end this, this way, I promise.
Tho, how I would love it, I'll be honest.

With the park, there and I ran so slow, I was walking.
I remember each and every word you had said while you were talking.
Here, I see everything so clear, that now, I can scream loud without any fear.
I can let out all my doubts,regrets, and fears.

Where I can drift off into my space.
My head, my movie, my own wonderful place.

It this was a movie, would you care enough to watch?
I know, I fooled you once or twice, and the title doesn't real match.

The world is ending soon, in my head with pain and sorrow.
I'll let you go now,
I hope I die tomorrow.