The truth is, I’m still trying to figure a lot of things out.
I’m trying to figure out how anyone can ever act normal,
When there’s so much everything coming at everyone
Even when nothing seems to change.
Especially then.
I’m trying to figure out how people sit down
In their suits and ties and sip their coffee,
When life is so far from that.

Life is tripping up the stairs,
And wearing mismatched socks,
And running through empty hallways,
And laughing out loud in the library.

Life is the way dust floats in the sunlight,
And the way he smiles,
And the way glass shatters so quickly,
It takes your breath away.

It’s dancing outside on a summer night,
And crying alone because you mean it,
And the handwriting on the note
That tore your family apart.

It’s those moments that catch you
So completely off guard
That for a second,

Nothing else is real.

I’m trying to figure out
How something can be the worst and still the best
And how the thing that made my life perfect
Is the wish that never came true.

I’m trying to tell you something real,
Because this has been the first real year of my life,
And it’s been the worst and the best
And everything but suits and ties and coffee.

I guess things have to be crazy to be real.

And I know that there’s a reason why
Thunder can shake my house
And windows break like fireworks
And somewhere in the world,
There’s always at least one star falling at any moment.

We’ve given everything a reason,
But I’d rather not know all of them, not yet,
Because some things are too beautiful
To lose.

But I hope that, no matter what, you never forget
What it’s like to dance in the street in the middle of the rain
Or sing out loud in the car
Or take a million stupid pictures
Or walk into a room and hear a dozen people yell ‘surprise!’
Because those are the things that are real.

And I also hope you never forget
That you changed my life,
And you helped me turn this mess of a year
Into something I can look back at with satisfaction.

Thank you for the most everything year I’ve ever had,
And here’s to another.
Love Always,
Emily