Afraid to Fly

May 12, 2011
I’m so afraid to fail.

It makes everything harder.

Failure is freedom. Failure is about learning your limits. Accepting them. Learning to live with them. I have limits but I refuse to acknowledge them. I refuse to acknowledge that it is not possible that I could be superwoman. That I’m not strong enough to lift that table. Not tall enough to reach that shelf. Not smart enough to get that grade. So I laugh, I joke, I shrug it off. And then, at night, alone, I cower. I cower alone in my room. I tell myself the lies are true. I tell myself I can do whatever I want to do. If I don’t try, though, I don’t have to be told no. I’m very strategic that way. I never ask yes or no questions, to eliminate the no. I don’t ask questions at all, if I can help it. But I get corrected. I get corrected all day and every day and all night and every night. Because I didn’t know, and I didn’t ask. But I will never learn. I will never ask. Because I’m afraid of no. Because I’m afraid of failure.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback