I Hate The Heart

I hate the heart, and how it lies.
Three weeks ago, I'd have told you I needed nothing more.
A month before, I'd have said I couldn't take it
Not another hour, not another day, I wouldn't waste another minute
I get so determined sometimes.
But
It was the longing, the loneliness, the product of too much free time
Not, as they say, destiny, not love or lust or anything other
Than me not keeping my damn hands busy.

I hate the heart, and how it writhes.
It beats inside me, harder, faster, just at the sight of someone,
Someone big and bold and soft and sweet and funny and
Handsome,
Or beautiful.
Someone short with a small nose and shiny hair or
Someone tall with the biggest smile I've ever seen.
Neglectful, yes, caring, yes, compliments, always.
It's alright for me but not for you, when you fall
I will let you.
If you ever let me fall,
I will get you.





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