I was walking down a path, when I came across a fork in the road. Not knowing which way to go I went to the left. Not far down that path did I realize that I made a wrong turn. Even though I wasn't far down the path, I did not turn back. I kept moving forward, thinking I could ignore what was going on and the things that were happening. As I kept walking, the path got longer...darker....and scarier, but I still did not turn back. In fact I was scared to go back in fear of what I might see. While walking my mind closed all my thoughts and filled them with negative thoughts, my eyes grew blind to everything beautiful and saw them as ugly. My love turned into jealousy, myself image went away. I pushed all the people I loved away. I soon found myself alone. worried, and lost. But for some reason I still did not turn back. After many years of walking, I stopped and stayed there. My thoughts eating me away slowly. Driving me to insanity and self hatred. I began to realize that I needed help. I tried going back, but always ended up back in the same place. Scared that I would never get better, I stopped trying. All I could do was sit and hope. Hope that one day I will get the courage to try again, hope that one day I will get better.
May 11, 2011