The Crack of a Whip

May 11, 2011
The crack of a whip
a fateful sound
the creak of the desk
it makes my ears pound
the slow raspy breath of it's victim
it chills me to the bone
the drip of blood on the the floor
it makes my stomach turn
the shred of broken skin
it tears a scream from my throat
the deep cackle of the overseer
it breaks my heart
the thud of thunder
shakes me hard
the sobs of dear friends crying
it brings me harm
the crack of a whip
what a horrid sound

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This article has 21 comments. Post your own now!

shadowrider said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:49 pm
This is very striking. It stands out and makes your skin crawl, but at the same time won't let you stop reading. It really sucks you in. Emotional and fantastic!
musicispassion replied...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:47 pm
wow thanks it means alot i appreciate it :p
MagicMan2011 said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:15 am
Great poem and thanks again for taking a look at my articles
musicispassion replied...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:21 am
thanks and no prob :P
TheSilverLaurel said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 12:29 pm
this is really emotional, the imagery is amazing. not quite as good as some of your other poems, but still worth 5 stars
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm
thanks i think my metaphors and similes are my strongest why was it emotoinal?
TheSilverLaurel replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

because it shows how negatively you feel about the sounds, and the line 'it brings me harm' shows how strongly people feel abouttheir freinds.

it might jst be me, i get quite emotional. it's still an amazing piece.

musicispassion replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 9:36 pm
o gotcha :P
qui133 said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm
rough and sad. it has a sort of dismal flow to it that i really like--well done.
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 12:49 am
thanks i'm gonna look at some of ur stuff
qui133 replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 11:45 am
thank you!
MidnightFire said...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 10:44 am
So it's the friend thats being whipped? thats the only part that confuses me ... i like how the poem flows and all works togeather to bring the feeling of knowing pain and gives the picture
musicispassion replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm
ya i just kinda wrote based of a book so the friend of the people watching is being whipped and I'm one of the friends sorry i know it's confusing thanks
Finchy said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 11:39 pm


Left? Cacophony. Right? Cacophony. No matter where I look in this poem, all I see are very gruff, rough words that remind me of sand paper and snapping twigs. If you didn't get an A on your project, your teacher needs to go teach PE.



musicispassion replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 1:18 am
i did get an A thank you don't want to sounf stupid again but what is cacophony
CarrieAnn13 said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Great choice of words! The imagery was very vivid; I love this poem.
musicispassion replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 1:19 am
thnak you i keep being told people like my imagery i'm going to look at some of ur stuff
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 9:00 am
Thanks, musicispassion!  If you have time, could you read and comment on my novel, 'Romeo and Juliet--A Parody' (despite being a novel, it only has three chapters and a one paragraph epilogue).  If you don't want to or don't have time, then could you read a few of my book reviews?
musicispassion replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

of course


ritabelle511This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Wow - this is great! I really felt like I was there - the imagery is haunting!
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