"Story of My Life"...Right?

May 2, 2011
By Anonymous

I'm just 13
Please don't blame me
There's nothing wrong
With the way I am
You may criticize me all you want
I don't even care

There's more to life
Than worrying about
What you think of me
I don't hate you.
I don't love you.
And you're nowhere in between.

My Uncle once called me a s***
And said he hoped I got f***ed up
I love him all the same
Forgive, forget, and then...Regret
A never-ending chain.

My Poppop died when I was 6
On a snowy New Year's Day
I still see his lovely ghost
In every windowpane
He talks to me
In my dreams
To let me know he's there
The problem is
That he is "there"
And likewise,
I am "here".

"A penny for your thoughts, my Dear?"
Do you even care?
No one knows the pain I feel
The worries that I fear
The molehills that I overcome
And the mountains I persevere.

A pen is mightier than the sword
And words crucify all
Please think before you speak
So you don't fall so hard
"Sticks and stones may break my bones"
And insults will do the same
"Words will never hurt me"
Is a disreputable claim.

I'll admit that I've cried a lot
But I am not ashamed
*Laryngopharyngeal Reflux*
Would do to you the same.

Tears are filled with longing
Bitter love
And sorrowful hate
Do you believe in Happy Endings?
I'd have to debate...

I almost once died crying
From emotions built up so long
I remember finding air to breathe
In a long-lost place inside of me.

I never wrote this so you'd feel
So terribly bad for me
But for you to realize
There's people out there
Desperately in our need
Please start by healing all the scars
Eternally etched in me.
I'm just 13
Please don't blame me.

The author's comments:
*Laryngopharyngeal Reflux is a breathing disorder I have. Half of my throat is weak, and I can barely breath through the left side of my pharynx. And when I get stressed, the other half closes, too, which is pretty scary. It's caused some really frightening moments for me and my family, and I've passed out because of this "disease". But if anything, it's made me stronger, and I'm not so afraid anymore. I realize now that it's just a roadblock, but that I can get through it.*

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