Feelings

Every single lamppost on my street has burnt out. Except for one.
That’s where I like to spend my time, in that makeshift spotlight.
It’s like my life is a piece of performance art.
Very few people see the side of me I prefer.
It’s by design; it’s definitely a conscious decision.
It’s how I decide who’s worth keeping in my life.
Sometimes I feel like I’m alone under the streetlight.
And at other times I really wish someone was here with me.
Yet there are times still where I wish things were different.
There’s a chance that in a different place or time, this could have been it.
You could join me, and we could both be happy.
It’s the least I could do to offer my hand.
I don’t trust my own heart. I don’t trust my own brain.
And I don’t think anyone would say that I’m courageous.
But at least by writing I can immortalize these complex emotions.
As soon as the words meet the paper, it’s a burden lifted off my shoulders.
Every sentence is another confession; every line is an immediate regret.
I will never be what the world expects me to be.
But at least I can be what you deserve.
One by one, the lampposts on my street come back to life.
Just like that, my spotlight is no longer unique.
I’m okay with just being a face in the crowd, at least this once.
I want to take a risk and make mistakes with you.
I want to live like a reckless teenager and make memories.
Somehow life’s not that simple. I think you taught me that.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Chinadoll said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 1:00 am

Filled with raw emotion

Never unclear

Tells your story without a doubt

I see everyone in the words you wrote

Entrancing, attention grabbing, one of a kind never to fall

What more can I say?

I loved it

Write on 

 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Thanks, it really came from the heart.
 
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