Death

May 11, 2011
By musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them


Death is the wind
sending a shiver
up your spine
billowing in the 'breeze
always there

Death is a cobra
searching for its
next victim
not caring who it takes
or
who it hurts

Death is a knife
slicing into you
hurting
hoping to take
away
your happiness
and the ones you
love


The author's comments:
My great-grandma who recently passed gave me inspiration to write this.

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This article has 19 comments.


on Jul. 10 2011 at 12:46 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thanks u should look at some of my other poems

tudor3x8 GOLD said...
on Jul. 9 2011 at 11:58 pm
tudor3x8 GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 3 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

I love the imagery in the poem!

awayra BRONZE said...
on Jul. 6 2011 at 9:45 am
awayra BRONZE, Bucharest, Alabama
1 article 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i am a woman who enjoys herself very much: sometimes i win, sometimes i loose."

i think you're a very free spirit and don't care about canons or rhymes, etc- you seem quite a poet to me, keep writting your feelings!

 


on Jul. 5 2011 at 5:51 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thank you sorry about punctuation i don't worry about it when i write poetry

on Jul. 5 2011 at 1:13 pm
CarsonFaircloth, Nowhere, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

I love the poem, but there is one thing that always bothers me in poems that lack this: punctuation. If you had added punctuation to this poem, it could have easily been a five out of five stars.

 

Either way, I get the basic idea of the poem. Beautifully written.


on Jul. 3 2011 at 3:20 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

i only got to meet my great grandma but i'm am lucky thanks

on Jul. 3 2011 at 2:52 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Oh, I love the metaphors. And, oh, you're lucky that you got the chance to meet you great grandparents... I'm sorry for what happened tho..

on Jul. 1 2011 at 8:50 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thanks i'm better at metaphors and similes

on Jul. 1 2011 at 4:44 pm
ChildOfThePast SILVER, Raleigh, North Carolina
9 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Things change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody."

I like this one(: now, see, this is better than your other poem.

on Jun. 29 2011 at 8:12 pm
AvengedJasonfoldForever BRONZE, Middletown, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are about to die. Scream if you Must." -Fire Emblem character

heres the thing

Poetry is a hit or miss for me. I don't know how to critique them because I either like them or I don't it seems. Like, I'll read a poem and think "wow that's really boring" or "holy crap this is the coolest thing ever" and someone else will read it and feel differently.

When I read poetry out of a book, it's like going to an art museum. You look at a picture, sometimes you take a long time to admire it, sometimes you just walk away.

This particular poem made me pause and take a minute to look at it. I like it, but I'm into darker and more twisted stuff. For instance, the lyrics of bands like Tool or Alice in Chains.


on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:41 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

ilooked at ur profile page paramore is awesome and still a band there's a riot in me and i like evanescence and hp

on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:16 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thanks i'm going to check out som of ur work

 


Finchy BRONZE said...
on Jun. 27 2011 at 11:30 pm
Finchy BRONZE, Fort Myers, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Musicispassion

That's a very powerful poem! It's interesting to note that you were inspired by an actual event; pieces based off of real things ususally are the best. Your metaphors were direct and easy to follow, making this poem very easy and fun to read.

Cheers

Finchy


on Jun. 27 2011 at 7:40 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Really amazing! It's kind of sad, but like CarrieAnn13 said, also true. I think you did a really good job. :)

on Jun. 16 2011 at 9:22 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

This is also true; death does not discriminate with its victims. I love the imagery here. You did an amazing job with this poem.

on Jun. 16 2011 at 11:31 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

You're welcome!!! :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 7:04 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

I like the imagery in this poem - the cobra and knife especially give off an ominous vibe!

on Jun. 15 2011 at 6:56 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thanks for both

on Jun. 15 2011 at 2:16 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

That was really good!!!!! I'm sorry to hear your grandma passed that's too bad.  Keep writing!!!




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