World of Night to Light (Come Close and Stay)

May 11, 2011
By Allicsirp SILVER, Canton, Georgia
Allicsirp SILVER, Canton, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a
pessimist who is always right."
"When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are
dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality."

I dance the night away
Flaunt my moves
Confident and free
Free as a bird
I see you
Watching me
Dancing, drinking, partying
The night away

I feel your eyes
Following y every move
Silently pleading for me to wake up
Goosebumps form on my skin

I know all about your undying love for me
Everyone knows, they all hear you
When you proclaim your love unashamedly
It’s embarrassing and pathetic
It sickens me and I hate you for it

You are not from my world of night
When you look at me you don’t see my body
And why not? Does it not please you?
Your complexity is unnatural, makes me uncomfortable
You try to explain
That you look at the heart
What nonsense is this?
This heart of mine is hidden,
Untouchable and silent
No one can get to it
I have learned to keep it safe and secure
Locked away from everyone

Your advances toward me are ineffective and useless
I just want to be left alone
You say you know me
Better, even, than I know myself

You try talking to me but
I don’t hear you or listen to you
I don’t talk to you
So how can you know me?

You don’t know my life, my pain
The numbness that I have grown accustomed to
What it’s like to want to feel
Do you really understand what goes through my mind?
As I run the dull blade over my skin
Again and again, begging to feel again
Hoping to see that red proof that I’m really living
Begging to wake up and to live again

If you really knew me, you wouldn’t
Love me like you do
Such unrelenting passion
I do not deserve
I resent it

Rebellion is the way to go
It brings freedom
I let my wild side reign
And run free for a while
And my silent heart begins to stutter
Is life coming back?
No, just another false alarm
Brought on by the excitement

I relish the thought of being wrapped up
And warm in your arms
You bringing back life to this
Numb shell, dark and empty
But it might not be worth it
Such a huge commitment

As I ponder and ponder this,
I know my time is running out
I fight to keep up my beloved façade
Bold face, daring eyes
Cold heart, fearless soul
I keep dancing the night away

Your eyes still on me
I know what you want:
My surrender
I’m not ready to give up
This still heart is already dead
What else do I have to lose?

Your persistence is unnerving
Beating at my walls
Behind them I’m safe and secure
From your attempted invasion
They tremble, shaking loose
Concrete is splitting and flying
Bricks crumbling
My fortress destroyed
Nowhere to hide anymore

It’s time to give up
My strong tower has failed me
I wave my feeble white flag in surrender
You advance towards me and
Suddenly I’m falling
Scrambling to grab a hold of something
Anything to save me

I realize, now how much I need you
I want you to continue to love me
To keep me safe, to make me feel
And to make my heart beat

Now all is silent
Then I hear something
A quiet thump-thump
The usual stutter I get from my thrills and exciting “life”
Is coming back
But there is no excitement
Just stillness ad thumping

Its beat becomes steadier
More consistent
Falling into rhythm with another beat
I am hearing a sound
That I had forgotten:
My heartbeat
But something is different
I hear mine…
And yours
As one!
Incredible, delightful, beautiful
I had not know about this kind of beauty
The kind that you don’t need eyes for

Finally I wake up and am alive once again
Open my eyes and see your smiling face
Looking down into mine
Your strong arms wrapped around me
Holding me safe and warm
Giving me life

I know all about your undying love for me
Everyone knows, they all hear you
When you proclaim your love unashamedly

But now I feel it
I see it in your eyes as you look at me
Pure, sacrificial love
Strong enough to pull me away
From my world of night
Into your world of light

The author's comments:
I got the idea of this piece when I was thinking about how at one point in my life I had turned my back on God and how he pursued me despite my rejection of Him...I finally released my fears and doubts to Him and it was such an amazing relief, because I knew that that was where I belonged :)
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

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