Hard Love

May 11, 2011
By Anonymous

I turn my head to the mirror to see the dark mark etched across my face
Arms flying high as I push back
My heart begins to race
I come to my senses and realize
I may have just made a huge mistake.

I begin to run,
Run faster
And faster
Until I stop, stare
Look at the mirror
Where am I?
See this abyss looks like a place where I have no business

I’m in a place with
No end, no beginning, just eternity
A place where pain festers and joy heals
Where people die and people live
Where 2 becomes 1
And 1 becomes you

Maybe my 2 should go back to being 1 indefinitely
Because I’m staring back at this mirror
And you have created something
I know I am not supposed to be

Staring at the mirror I hear something coming hear me
Closer and closer, until I can feel its body caressing me
“Girl don’t you ever run from me,
See I discovered you when you were lost and claimed you had no sanctity,
I was your knight in shining armor,
Dressed in Jordan’s
Sporting those true religions
And nice fitted shirts
Which show off my torso-”
So why am I so torn
And feeling like your love is what causes me all this scorn

The pain you cause me,
Causes me to wonder why
I even run away because,
You can always find me

See maybe I am not moving as sly-ly as I thought
And leaving you is just a thought
Of imagination,
creating the picture perfect exaggeration of our love
See love, I’m beginning to wonder

See I used to be your picture perfect painting
Creating beautiful hues of your extravagant world views
But see
Now those hues have turned from brightly colored blues
To confused oranges , mixed with angry reds
Creating my anguished mahogany
This color creates the picture perfect painting of my scars
Battered so brightly even in the dark only Satan can find me

But its okay, because
I know love must sometimes be this way

Just remember my scorn is the beginning of my strength
And as soon as I find my-self,
I will be able to take, my self away from you
Because I can still feel the bruising, the beating, the scars, and me screaming ‘you’re pushing me to hard’

But, someday I will heal
And remind myself I was able to deal with
All your lies and my cries
As I watched our love shrivel up and die

As my bruises and scars fade away
I will always remember my pain that is here to stay

And that beautiful piece of my heart that you took away.

The author's comments:
I was inspired by a radio conversation I heard, women were discussing how they were staying with there boyfriends or husbands although they were beating them. I realized that some people don't truly understand 'love' and 'personal strength'. In this poem I wanted to give the women who made the decision to walk away or attempt to, a voice, and commend them for their strength and courage.

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