What Bad Is

May 2, 2011
I’m sitting here in class, with a blank page.

Not like I don’t know what to write, but that there is to many things in this world to write about.

Not that I don’t want to write, but I don’t know how to put all my thoughts in words.

I would say that my thoughts are filled with hope, filled with questions, filled with faith, filled with misery, filled with sadness. Filled with, peace, courage, love, tears, disgrace, confusion, happiness, smiles, laughter, anger, freedom, regret, gratefulness, truth, and lies.

How am I supposed to put that on paper.

I’m thinking about the hospital, and how lives begin there, but how they also end there.

I’m thinking about how everyone thinks they have it so bad, when the reality is they don’t even know what bad is.

I’m thinking about how I want to make a difference.

How even though I’m one person, if I try hard enough I can have the voice of many.

One day, I want to travel the world. I want to go to every single country, every single town or city. I want to realize how extremely lucky I am to live the life I do. I want to know what bad is to people, that actually know what bad is. I want to live through their suffering, I want to know if I’m strong enough.

I want to starve.

I want to walk 5 miles barefoot to get water that will make me sick.

I want to fight a deadly disease.

I want to know how it feels to be beaten.

I want to dodge bullets

I want to know what it feels like to know you are going to die.

I want to know what bad really is.

.....You probably think I’m crazy.

But I also want to know what it feels like to overcome. To know what it feels like to be strong. To know that you have done what many people can’t live through. I want to know what it feels like to be accomplished.

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