I am a dreamer.
I fantastise about the life I hope to live. I will be on stage. I will have pride. I will be happy. I will be with him.
He is the center of my focus as of late. Every idea, every thought that passes through my mind and heart involve him. I wish he could see.
I am indecisive.
I have trouble making decisions. I know what I want but I don't at the same time. This is why he can't be with me. He doesn't trust my decisions anymore. I hurt him. He thinks I will change my mind again.
I am an artist.
I become someone new. I work hard. I love it. This is what keeps me going day after day, this love for the art. Cliche as it is. I live for my moments onstage. It is an unexplicable feeling; one that is uncomparable to anything else in the world.
I am in love.
I am in love with someone who once loved me but can't anymore. The cut was deep. I live with this each and every day and every day it gets worse. "Time heals all wounds," they tell me. This is a farce. Time pours salt in the wounds. Every day I see him, beautiful as he is, and yet, I doubt he knows that I still think this way. I doubt he knows how highly I view him. I doubt he knows how much I love. I just want this pain to end. To be with him.
I am talented.
Although I feel pain, my song is one that heals. Even for a moment, it heals. The action of my vocal chords are enough for me to feel better. To feel inspired. To feel happy. This helps me.
I am happy.
I am fortunate.
I am lucky.
As much emotional pain as I feel from him, I am brought back to my fortune. My life is stable. My family and friends are loving and supportive. My health is intact. I have ten fingers and ten toes. I have a good personality. People like me. I need to stop taking everything for granted.
I am going to college.
I am strong.
I am free.