I'll Be Honest

May 1, 2011
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I’ll be honest.
I miss you
In a surreal, devastating kind of way.
It’s difficult to believe,
That Earth still rotates,
That miracles still occur,
That people are good,
Because you made my world go round,
You brought my hopes and desires, to life,
And you were the purest human being I’ve ever known.
Yes, you had your faults.
And yes, we had our fights.
But you were the best---to me.
You made me happy,
You allowed me to be satisfied.
I hope I was the cream of your crop.
I pray I brought you untold joy.
And that with me, you were content.

I’ll be honest.
I shed tears when I think no one is watching.
I dance by myself in the midst of thunderstorms.
I imagine you are there.
The raindrops are the pieces of you,
Moving in sync with the pieces of me.
The thunder,
Your life-giving and commanding laughter.
The lightening,
Your brilliant, striking eyes gazing into mine.
I grasp tightly to the old, beautiful, broken moments.
Yearning to feel some sort of connection.
Metaphysical, paranormal, magical, illogical, real---to me.

I’ll be honest.
I live in the future.
I feel the anticipation prolonging my existence.
Because the past can never again be,
Because presently the world is shattered---to me,
Because I hate right now.
So I walk my own parallel plane where it’s next month, and next year, and next century.
And where a lifetime can take place in mere microseconds.

I’ll be honest.
I am here,
And you are there.
I am nowhere,
And you are everywhere.
I am nothing,
And you are everything---to me.

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