It's Ridiculous

April 29, 2011
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Just to let you know
You are indeed, very much, on my mind
Every second, of every day & night
I keep myself busy
It's the only time I can get away
Even my sweet little dreams aren't safe

I really miss you
& quite frankly really don't want to
What I cannot stand is how much hope,
I still keep locked in me
Wishing that you'll be mine,
Is a total waste of time

I secretly write your name
Along the lines of my paper
Slowly and carefully,
My cursive is painfully perfect
Hours have probably gone by
I'm disappointed in myself,
To be so hung up on you

This is coming from me
All of this, I'm spitting it all out
So raw, if you took a bite it would kill you
I'm not sure if I could put money on the fact
That you'd care about this if you took the time to read it
Would you even know it was about you?
How much do you pay attention to?

I haven't talked to you in days
Don't you know that's when I'm begging for you?
Waiting for you to miss me, wanting contact with me
This is all smoldering under my skin
If I were able to scream, I would
But my voice is set in silence

I want to itch it all out until I'm bleeding;
Your addiction is immeasurably horrid

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