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Conqueror

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Winter lasts forever
parasitic in nature as it
clings to the land
and spreads its ugliness
dull browns, muted grays
color the horizon
until spring comes as
a glorious conqueror and
dispels the hideous beast
from the land, bringing back
color and life where it had been
lost



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ohmakemeover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 12:07 am
I love the format, especially how you seperated "lost" at the very end.  It gives it a, dare I say, wintery feel.  Although, as a Minnesota girl, I am inclined to disagree with the message- I love winter!  But still a lovely poem, nonetheless.
 
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:26 am
Thank you!  And, as a Wisconsin girl, I enjoy winter as well - until it's the middle of March and the nasty, slushy snow won't leave! :)
 
ohmakemeover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Oh gosh, now I totally get it.  Yeah, once it snows into April, I just wish it would all go away.  Definitely agree.
 
freeflow23 said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I really like this.
 
ritabelle511 replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:15 pm
thank you!
 
TwasBrilling said...
Jun. 23, 2011 at 10:08 pm
This is great! I especially love the "until spring comes/ as a glorious conquerer and/dispels the hideous beast" Sometimes I felt that the line breaks were a little off, but still, it was really good!
 
ritabelle511 replied...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 9:04 am
Thanks very much! And about the line breaks.....I didn't have a plan, I just went with it :) We had to write it in 3 minutes for a class, plus I'm not the greatest poet alive....haha thanks anyways!
 
Bill M. replied...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Well written; I especially like that you didn't use punctuation.  It gives the poem a more cyclical feel (like the seasons) and gets the message across.  Although I can't relate as well (since I live in Florida and we get no snow), I know what snow is and can definately imagine.  Great work.
 
ritabelle511 replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Thanks! Snow up here can go from October to April (we had 2 snowstorms in April this year!), so it's definitely a nice change when spring rolls around!
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 6:23 pm
I'm not great at poetry, but I could picture everything in this poem. I like your pacing; it kind of got me wondering where you were going with this. It was really creative. I like it a lot :)
 
ritabelle511 replied...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Thank you! I actually don't think I'm that great at poetry either, so it's nice to hear that it's okay, especially since it was kind of an experiment :)
 
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