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Suicide

By , Florissant, MO
I find myself in total darkness,
I can see no light, but this is my domain.
I feel nothing but the rock beneath me;
I have lain here for months and slipped no further.
This is the bottom of my valley.

There is a deafening wind,
On it is carried the heartbreaking sobs of those I love.
As this wind dies, my memories flash before my mind’s eye
Never again to be recalled.

As I approach my last thought –
That of remorse for the wretched, woeful souls I had once known –
You grab my arm.
You pull me from the only light I’ve seen for ages;
The one created by my agony filled desire for love.

You tell me we are leaving this place,
That we are going higher, to a plateau above this wretched night.
But I have tried to scale these walls many times;
They are nothing but smooth stone.
There is no way out.

Despite my reasoning – my protesting – you climb.
You pull me upwards, and the higher we go
The stronger I become, the more grooves I can find.

We are nearing level ground; you say we’re there.
I’ve got one arm over the cliff-edge, and I can feel the grassy plain,
But I can no longer feel your grip and the dark rushes in.
I’m disoriented, blind – I grasp wildly with both arms but I’ve lost the edge.

The wind screams louder than ever, and I hear the painful moans of the able.
I feel as though I’m falling, and I know what waits.
I’m nearing the bottom again, but I’m falling far too fast.

If only you could have pulled me over.

I almost made it out.





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