May 3, 2011
She get more beautiful with each passing year
I hope she isn't just telling me something I wanted to hear
Be I have been fighting with a pain called ugly
The mix of insecurity and low self esteem threaten to smuggle me

I am my own worst critic, I am seemly not good enough
A mash of imperfection, I am silly, my tone is too rough
my skin too dark, eyes too big, hair too short, too nappy
I turn away from the mirror because the image is making me unhappy
I can't help but wonder would it be different if my skin was lighter, clothes tighter?
If I had a different style, another personality or simply a bigger butt?
Then would I be pretty? Considered sexy...
instead of feeling like a mangy mutt?

After trying all that I can but eventually giving up on being a work of art
I thought a new method, try a new thing, I must feel the part
In a search for that easy breezy beautiful high, I turned to boys
Thinking that if I treat him right, he woild do the same, cherish me like a new toy
But I was broke, this temple ransacked and destroyed

I ended worse than I started, sunk into a deeper depression
I blocked out my pain, stilled believe low self esteem was a silly expression
I thought that I wasn't, couldn't be that sad girl, naw that ain't me
It some friends with tough love to make me open my eyes and see
What I have become, this problem, my mistakes, there is a connection
I am changing . Not perfect or 100% happy but I am getting there by overlooking the imperfections

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