Questioning Myself

April 7, 2011
It's become a rather large part of my life recently.
My friend's mom thought I was, awhile back.
(Here's hoping she doesn't now)
My friends and I have gotten stares in public
From those who thought we were 'together,' two girls.
(We do act crazy, though, so it could be that)
My dad's made several comments about my clothing
And body spray, saying I shouldn't wear 'guy stuff.'
(So I should go around smelling random guys?)
One of my friends, after I told her about my dad,
Asked if she had to ask 'the obvious question.'
(So I've never had a 'boyfriend,' so what?)
My friends and I joke about things like that
All the time, though we're straight
(It's fun because we know we're joking)
At least, I think we're all straight.
But I'm not worried about them.
(They've all had boyfriends)
I'm not really worried about me either.
After all, I am straight.
(At least, I think I am)
I just like wearing guy clothes and spray,
Holding doors open for girls and carrying their books.
(That doesn't mean anything)
I can't pinpoint a time in my life
That I've been attracted to a girl for her looks.
(Like that crush I had for two days on Legolas)
And, if I were gay, wouldn't seeing some
Of my friends in their underwear turn me on?
(And it didn't! and I rejoiced)
So, you see, I'm really not gay.
Or bisexual, for that matter.
(Telling a girl she's pretty doesn't mean I 'like' her)
The fact that I haven't had a boyfriend
In my teenage life means nothing
(It's not like I've had a girlfriend)
And yes, I've kissed a girl. Yes, on
The lips. I didn't know what that meant.
(Not then: I was too young)
Then again, the fact that I've Never 'liked' a guy could be because
('Liked' in the past ten years, anyway)
Could be because, maybe, I'm gay.
Or bi. But I'm not. at all.
(At least, I don't think so)
And besides, not being attracted
To either sex defeats that, right?
(And no, I'm not into bestiality).
I suppose I could be pansexual.
But that doesn't make sense either.
(Wouldn't I have liked someone by now?)
So, like I said, I'm straight.
Not that it changes anything
(Or does it? I don't think so)
Maybe I'm just unable to
Fall in 'like.' Who knows?
(I certainly don't)

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