The Final Goodnye

April 24, 2011
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I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes.
I now know the pain I put you through.
Words can not tell you how I feel.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder.
I wonder what it would have been like.
What life would be like with you?
We both chose to go our separate ways,
We must live with our choices.
And now I wonder what would have happen.
What would have happen if I never told you goodbye.
Would I still be sitting here with tears in my eyes?
As I had before.
I ask myself, how could you do that to him.
But then I think oh he is fine he is just upset.
No matter what I say I still love you.
There will always be something special with us.
I’ll always have you no matter what.
I mean you have a whole poem about you.
Just you and no one else.
Talking about the sweet kisses we shared.
The talks that helped me through so much.
The hugs that kept me safe.
The words that melted my heart.
The tears that I cried because we fought.
I still have all the words that you said to me.
All the “I love you”.
I will never forgive myself for what I did.
For making you hurt, and cry.
For making you go through all that you have.
I just wish I could be what you need.
But I’m not, and I’m so sorry for that.
I’m sorry for everything that I have changed.
I don’t know what else to say.
I guess all I can really say is that I’m sorry.
I really am.
You mean so much to me.
I hate knowing that you are hurting.
I hate it even more because I’m the cause of your pain.
I’m the reason why you can’t make up your mind.
The reason why we can’t be together.
This poem is more like a letter that I’ll never send.
But I promise you this, I mean every word.
I don’t want to say goodbye.
But if I must then I will.
So here is one final cheer.
Here is to the good life.
The life we could have had.
The tears that will still fall.
The hugs I will miss.
The stupid comments that I learned to love.
The boy who stole my heart in less than a day.
And to the guy I will never forget.
And here is to the final goodbye.

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