You sit there,
Staring,
Prodding me with your eyes.
I am the specimen
To your experiment of life.
I can't turn and run anymore.
I'm trapped,
Held in this position
With the icy glare you give me.
I cant stand it.
The daggers you shoot
Are meant for me and me only.
The sharp points hit me where it hurts,
Right in my heart,
My soul,
My being.
And I only wish you knew.
Though I'm sure,
If searched deep enough,
You already do.
The blades are only imaginary,
For I wouldn't survive if they weren't.
But the pain,
The gut wrenching
Heart breaking pain,
Its real.
You've built me from the bottom up,
Only to be the one to knock me down.
You knew my weaknesses,
You put them there.
I was unaware at the time
Foolishly trusting in you.
The emotional pain is too much,
Weaving itself into my life.
It doesn't belong,
Doesn't have a place.
I have to find a way to let it all go.
So I take control,
In the only way I see fit.
You may have daggers,
But they cannot penetrate my body,
Only my composure.
I have weapons though,
And they can break the skin,
Which I make sure they do.
With each pull of the blade
Sliding gracefully across the frosty front
I put up years ago,
I feel the world let go,
Its death grip on my heart and lungs,
Its gone.
I'm safe now.
I feel it.
The rush,
It comforts me,
Embraces me,
Like you never would.
Not like you ever could.
The chill of the blade,
It calms me.
It lifts the fog that's formed,
The haze that traps me here.
I'm free,
I found the key to this cage,
The one you constructed around me,
So many years ago.
The shape was unusual,
Though familiar.
I found release in the oddest of places.
And it feels good.
You no longer have control.
I do.
And you will never,
Ever,
Get it back.