Where Do I Belong? | Teen Ink

Where Do I Belong?

April 23, 2011
By Anonymous

I find myself alone
Friends? Gone. Enemies? Growing
I look around at my friends, once plentiful, now there are none.
Fight after fight, and they all go away
One mess up after another, and again, they leave
How many mess-ups does it take, before I get it right?

I cry my eyes out, at the pain of my enemies,
Yelling, screaming, and bullying me
I thought they were my friends,
Yet time after time, I find myself friendless
Who are my enemies?

The first bell has rung,
calling us to our classes
I rush to gym class, and look in the room
See my friend, talking to my worst enemy
Smiling, and laughing, like they’re BFFs
About to approach them, but I run away.
Are my friends really friends?

It’s running laps, in gym here today,
I sprint them so fast, so I don’t talk to others
Finally, it’s over, and I change super quickly
Am I alone?

I walk the halls at a very brisk pace,
For fear of running into someone I know
Next class: reading.
Nothing TOO bad, but nothing too good…
Is there even a class I can look forward to?

Reading has passed, and no bullying occurred,
Next is Spanish, but we don’t talk anyways.
I dread the next class though, for fear I might fail
Though there’s no grade from a teacher,
It’s the hardest class of all,
LUNCH I have next…
Will I pass this class?

I stare at my lunch table,
From the edge of the lunchroom,
Looking at them, talking, laughing
Yet all of them have drifted away from me.
Who are my friends?

I drift over to another table,
Hoping they won’t kick me out.
“Can I sit here?” I hear myself say
“Sure” says one, but the others all stare
I’m about to sit down, when I notice her there
Sitting at the table, is my worst enemy,
And although the others are nice,
I just can’t stand by she.
“Never mind,” I say in a hurry
And sprint far away,
Where should I sit?

I scurry so quickly,
Past the table of my crush,
But I think it’s too late,
Yes, fore they’ve noticed me
I turn and I sprint, to a faraway place,
Not sure if I heard one of them get up
Do I have guy friends?

I sit at the edge, of the losers’ table
And scarf down my lunch,
Ignoring all talk, and laughter and such
Until I have finished, my sandwich
But there was no taste, of lunch that I ate,
Because the only taste I felt, were bitten back tears.
Is that what its’ come to?

The clock on the wall, says it’s twelve o-three
Only five minutes left, of this torturous lunch,
But the day is only halfway done.
I still must stomach, the rest of the day,
But if it’s anything like my lunch,
It’s coming all back up.
I rush to the bathroom, and puke up my lunch
Then sprint to my classroom, before anyone sees me.
How will the rest of the day go on?

Social Studies comes, but luckily
I see no one here, who I hate or hate me
The class is fine, and so is the next,
Science is done, to the hall I run
I trip and look up, and whom do I see?
Well, none other than E.S., the girl who hates me
What will happen next?

She gives me a look, disgusted no doubt
Then tilts her head upward and
Saunters away
I shake my head, forgetting the moment,
And walk to math, to finish the day.
Is it over yet?

The day’s finally done, and I take the bus home,
Finally, time to relax.
I’m done with the day, relieved of the stress
But I feel tears well up…
Because it’s only Monday…
And I must relive the day again…
Where do I belong?


The author's comments:
This is how i'm feeling at school and with my "Friends"

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