Desires

April 22, 2011
By Poetryfaces SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
Poetryfaces SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
7 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Her spine
broken from the years of running form one lovers arms to the next
Is the only thing that holds her thin dress,over her delicate and stained skin
Her body
Submerges into a catatonic state as she waits
Greedily for the embrace of her next lover
-Desires of a used paperback


The author's comments:
My objective through this pice was to personify an object in a way to give perspective to the reader as well as a surprise.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Jan. 5 2012 at 2:45 am
garshongjasmine SILVER, Accra, Other
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
happiness resides not in possesions, and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul























-democritus

wow really nice. if you guys could check some of my work ill be really grateful

on Jun. 27 2011 at 4:34 pm
Poetryfaces SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
7 articles 1 photo 17 comments
Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. I know the typos :x i have to make sure i am more careful next time i submit, because once i post it i can not edit it. But i will however make changes to the version on my laptop. Thank you for the input, it is much appreciated :) 

hopelovepain said...
on Jun. 26 2011 at 1:31 pm
hopelovepain, Maplewood, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
The ones who say they love us are the ones that hurt us the most.

TYPO ALERT: form vs. from, lovers vs. lover's, no comma between dress and over (third line)  

You may want to change the last line to something a bit clearer, like

These are the

Desires of a used paperback

I do, however, love how you've written this and the idea of it as well as the writing is wonderful. Good luck - keep writing! (: 


on Jun. 22 2011 at 9:40 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

Would you mind looking at some of my poems? Their all in the poetry forum. Thanks!

on Jun. 22 2011 at 7:28 pm
Poetryfaces SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
7 articles 1 photo 17 comments
Thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I know, as i just re-read the poem i found another spelling/grammatical error. Next time i post i will make sure that i double check my writing. Because unfortunately you can't edit it once you post it. Thanks again. :)

on Jun. 22 2011 at 12:19 am
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

Oh but I just realized that instead of putting 'from' you put 'form'. It took me the second time through to catch that, your poem sucked me in so much.

on Jun. 22 2011 at 12:17 am
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

I love it! The way you gave a personality to an inanimate object, really gave a wonderful twist to the poem! It was great! Write more! Your good!




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