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Desires
April 22, 2011
Her spine
broken from the years of running form one lovers arms to the next
Is the only thing that holds her thin dress,over her delicate and stained skin
Her body
Submerges into a catatonic state as she waits
Greedily for the embrace of her next lover
-Desires of a used paperback
© Sophia E., Wilmington, DE
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This article has 7 comments.
garshongjasmine SILVER said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 2:45 am
wow really nice. if you guys could check some of my work ill be really grateful
Poetryfaces SILVER said...
on Jun. 27 2011 at 4:34 pm
Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. I know the typos :x i have to make sure i am more careful next time i submit, because once i post it i can not edit it. But i will however make changes to the version on my laptop. Thank you for the input, it is much appreciated :)
hopelovepain said...
on Jun. 26 2011 at 1:31 pm
TYPO ALERT: form vs. from, lovers vs. lover's, no comma between dress and over (third line)
You may want to change the last line to something a bit clearer, like
These are the
Desires of a used paperback
I do, however, love how you've written this and the idea of it as well as the writing is wonderful. Good luck - keep writing! (:
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 9:40 pm
Would you mind looking at some of my poems? Their all in the poetry forum. Thanks!
Poetryfaces SILVER said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 7:28 pm
Thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I know, as i just re-read the poem i found another spelling/grammatical error. Next time i post i will make sure that i double check my writing. Because unfortunately you can't edit it once you post it. Thanks again. :)
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 12:19 am
Oh but I just realized that instead of putting 'from' you put 'form'. It took me the second time through to catch that, your poem sucked me in so much.
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 12:17 am
I love it! The way you gave a personality to an inanimate object, really gave a wonderful twist to the poem! It was great! Write more! Your good!
