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Forever These Scars Will Remain

Everything seems so
different.
Sitting here, thinking,
I realize
everything that was good
is gone.
I never even noticed
that someone
I loved
was right there in front of me,
and I just didn't
see it.
And now,
looking back,
I realize
that I gave up too soon.
I should've held on longer.
But now all that's left
is sadness,
this loss,
this depression.
The tears.
The tears that roll down
my face
every time I think about it.
I loved you.
I love you.
I always will
love you.
Until the day I die.
As much as it hurts,
I know I need to move on.
But I don't think
I can.
I feel like I'm
paralyzed.
Stuck here,
remembering everything
I had
but I've
lost.
I lost it all.
Now looking back,
I wish
I would've shown you.
I know I could've.
But instead,
I sit here looking at pictures,
knowing that I can't
get you back.
You're with her now.
So now when I cry,
I feel the urge
to find those knives.
You broke me of the habit,
saying it would
get me into trouble.
Maybe it did,
maybe it still will,
but I just don't care anymore.
I just want to
ease the pain
I feel.
You don't understand.
You'll never understand anymore.
I really did
love you.
Now that I can't
have you back,
I feel the depression
washing over me.
When I'm at home,
I cry.
When I'm at school,
I ask myself
why?
You don't understand
the pain I feel
when I look at you.
When I see you with her.
You'll never understand.
So I'll try
to move on.
It kills me to think
that all that was just
a waste of time.
But my depression grows stronger.
The tunnel
gets longer.
The light
grows brighter.
My wings take form.
In my one last breath,
I call your name...
Then,
I'm gone.
You'll find me
with scars on my wrists,
blood all over,
and a note
explaining how much
I loved you.
Just remember
in the days to come,
this was my fault..
Not yours.

No one was able to save me.





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