Safe
in the arms of myself
Cradled by my own Defense
He can't touch me.
My legs like railings
He climbed up the stairs
I shudder as I try not to remember
The way he held onto me
Not gently but possessively.
Shushing me.
I said no and he said yes
And then he just removed my dress.
My arms waving like branches which he pushed aside.
He smoothed my hair and said I should enjoy the ride.
I shook my head and was trapped on the bed with nothing but the words that my mother said.
Oh no, how disappointed she'll be!
If I say I didn't want it she won't believe me.
I push away her voice like I try to push away the body on me,
And yet I'm still not free.
His arms, his hands, snakes slithering and making demands
-Ones I don't want to meet
And yet I am pinned here against the sheets.
Lick, touch,
I do believe he's had enough.
But STILL.
I close my eyes and wince in pain
If I admit it I will go insane
Forgetting is my only way out
But my insides are too loud they're trying to shout!
The ways with which he touched me.
Violations I dare not admit.
It's time I open my eyes and be free.
I'm done just trying to forget it.