As I sit and stare with no goal, no idea, no nothing I feel lost. Lost in the desperation of wanting to be like everyone else. Hoping to have someone notice me strangling myself as I sit on my knees with my hands folded in front of my chest, praying. I wonder if I am alone. My eyes shut tightly I begin to notice the bizarre wonders of the outside world. The drama, the humorous memories, the various disappointments. My mind speculates my dreams. My wonders, my future. Will it exceed the limitation of the happy in the world, or will I just be another rock in the creek looking for a new reality. My eyes gleam at the life I want. My body sits taking in the various beatings of going out of my barrier. The only reason I go, is to see what it’s like. To see my life that I could live.