The open doors
They open like its nothing.
But they close quickly.
Should I keep trying?
Keep trying to unlock them
Even if they close?
It just doesn't seem
Worth any of my effort
No, not anymore.
I know it use to
It really mattered to me.
Crazy emotions
They confuse me always
Now, its all different.
I try to stop them.
Stop them from consuming me
But it never works.
I use to not want
what they were offering me
Solace in darkness.
I just didn't know
I couldn't understand
I couldn't comprehend. It use to scare me
It use to drive me insene
I knew nothing
I blindly refused.
Ignorantly I kept walls
So they'd stay away
So they would not grow
So they wouldn't constrict me
And leave me shredded
Leave me wanting more.
Craving their icy freedom
Dark light purs through me
Wishing they'd come back.
To open another door.
And let me inside
Somewhere I'm tortured.
Somewhere I'm no longer numb. Somewhere I can finally feel..something
Day in and day out always.
Plagued by constant agony
Where I'm no longer in control
Trepped inside my head
Enjoying their frigid chills
Savoring their dark essence