A Failed Attempt

April 15, 2011
By maggetatorisawesome GOLD, Crestwood, Kentucky
maggetatorisawesome GOLD, Crestwood, Kentucky
12 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Take away this mask of flesh and bone and see me for my soul alone."-Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
"All of your friends are gone, and you were barely holding on."-Your Friends are Gone by Circa Survive


1300 miligrams of Zoloft.
10-15 tablets of Melatonin.
Half a handful of Ibuprofen.

This is my
"Deathly Dosage."
I sit and quiver as I wait for
something
to happen.
Yes,
I know I'm a
newbie.
I'm a stupid freaking
coward
who can't even swallow enough
pills
to be over and done with.
I never cut
deep enough,
never hang
long enough.
I'm too afraid of the
pain.

Pills?
Sure!
But then I'm afraid of what happens
after.

I always get everything wrong.
For one thing,
this poem is going to suck.
But anyways,
this isn't about one late assignment.
It's not about
one failing grade.
It's abou how I mess up
everything, for
everyone.

It's
my fault
that they work too hard.
It's
my fault
that everyone ends up sad.
It's my
own damn fault
that others get suck with
an idiot like
me.
I am who I am,
but that ain't gonna do
nothing
to change the rest of the world.

At least one day I'll have a
great story
of OD'ing,
attempting suicide,
and endless pits of despair.

What a bundle of joy.


The author's comments:
I wrote this poem not long after I swallowed some pills, attempting suicide. Yes, I am better. There is no need to overreact. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but if you're depressed enough, then eventually you have an excuse.

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