If I Miss You

April 3, 2011
Somewhere right now the clouds swallow the sun
And a picture perfect landscape becomes tainted
With the stale glow of a washed out winter

But I don’t mind, I close my eyes and float
Trying to recognize this place that is not home
Only because if you were here I would not understand myself

Anymore than I do now, because you are a force field
And you broke down these walls but I can’t reciprocate
This was not even supposed to be a battle in the first place

And I wouldn’t have anything to talk to you about
Walking on pins and needles and hoping for the best
Just to see you smile and then fill the silence with something I don’t mean

Even though time has passed, I will be there forever
I will tell our story because I think it defines me and denies judgment
And I can only hope I am learning in this shallow wind of you

Trying to dodge this darkness and on my mind like a tattoo
Fly away now, but do not ever leave me
I like to think we might meet again, though I hope we do not

And I hope that you know how much I have written about you
How I can get inspiration from someone that has put so
Many tears on my face and smiles in my eyes

And changed my mind, and changed my story, and given me reason
To consider who I want to be in the future
And how is it just that I may base my decisions around who I was with you

How can I rethink my unspoken, unheard of solitude
And wondered what would happen if I lied to myself
If I lied to you

If we never met

If I didn’t hate you

If I pushed you away

If I miss you in this place.





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