Just about 15

April 11, 2011
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I am in pain.
I do not know what I have lost or gained.
I can no longer make since of things.
Every thing has started to change.
Why can’t everything stay the same?
I do not know whether I should cry or if I should just hide in side.
I know I am not perfect.
And I do not wish to be.
But why does everyone seem to want to be pleased?
I am not super woman.
Nor do I have no limitation.
I am only human.
So, I too make mistakes.
I too fall; but I choose to get up off my knees.
I choose to continue.
Even though nothing makes since.
Even though every second something is being chanced or added to in some way.
I continue to fight for my dreams.
But the closer I get to them I seem to lose something inside of me.
I don’t understand.
This is truly what I wanted.
With every piece of my heart.
People say if you want it enough then you’ll get it with pieces of luck.
They wish you the best of things.
Then they want you to change?
Is it because you are not the same?
Have I changed in the wrong way?
Have I changed the wrong things?
Please tell me and help me make since of everything.
I am still so sore and unsure.
I Rhome like a ghost stuck on the eastern shore.
Still unaware of my surroundings and the people who live life like a war.
They fight until death over little things that make no since.
They try to get me to join.
But I can’t.
How can I fight to the end if I can’t even escape my own head?
I am filling up with so many emotions.
I can’t even grasp one of them.
They fly at me; all at one time.
Then in a corner, I am zombified.
I blink, but do not speak.
I drool helplessly.
Why so many?
Why so much?
Can anyone answer this?
I sure can’t because it’s too tough.
Every thing is rough.
Nothing any more is soft.
I look away from the fighting and the sense decay.
But I try so hard to look away from the clock that lets time pass away.
Why do I feel that my life is wasting away?
That my life is no longer mine to control?
It seems that I am a puzzle piece missing my home.
I am that lost puzzle piece that no one will take the time to fine.
Because they’ve moved on into a life unlike mine.
It seems that I am a psychopathic; and have some type of illness.
But when I lose it no one Knowles’s.
Why am I so hard to see?
So hard to be heard?
Or put into a comforting dream; perhaps maybe a deep sleep?
For this poem you see isn’t even close to ending.
But before I keep counting, I’ll break into a silent’s of never ending.
For life is a continuation of time that passes many different lines.
I have dropped out of the race for first place.
Yes it is true; I am giving up and handing whatever it is over to you.
Do not judge me!
For I can’t take any more.
I give up my corner.
And a bit of my strength.
I as a psychopathic give up acting out strange.
As that puzzle peace, I now fly; because someone has picked my time.
And that clock has stopped; for its battery has gone dead and time has stopped once again.
Oops I forgot something.
Remember that puzzle peace?
Well I never did say that it was the piece of the lifelong game of future and past.
Now please let’s take a nice long rest and wake refreshed in a new place.
In a new theme; and finally a new me.





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