I walk through the door and into my room and lay on my bed. The world has nothing for me. I lie there as I think of my life and my family. The people that I want but can’t get. The guys I like but can’t have. And the person I love, but don’t need. I have mixed up feelings for everyone. Do I like her? Is she really my best friend? Is he my crush? Do I need him? Is this love or lust?
I look around my room at pictures of my old school. So much drama here, so much pain, so much fear. I don’ t like this place anymore. I don’t want to feel scared, to feel sad, to feel fear. I don’t want to think I have no one here and that no one needs me. I don’t want to think that I don’t have friends and that people don’t like me. I don’t want to think that I’m ugly and that I’m unloved. And I don’t want to think that someone loves me, but don’t tell me while I cry.
I feel all these things and I don’t want to. All I want is a friend and all I need is a life. I don’t need a $400 phone or the coolest clothes in school. I don’t need a car and I straightener. I don’t need the most shoes or the most friends. I don’t need a boyfriend and I don’t need true love. All I need is a friend. A friend that can help me through hard times and a friend that I can trust. A friend that keeps my secrets. Yet very few people I can trust and very few people I know. Who is a real friend?