Smile that misleads

My throat starts to lump
My nose starts to run
And the tears keep running off my cheek
I feel the stains and they just keep pouring
I just want sleep, but all I can think about is you
Every memory feels like it’s just a figment of my imagination
The more I think about you, the more my heart breaks
What did I do that made everything go all wrong
We’ve become more distant ever since we took this leap
I want to sniffle my nose and scream loud
But my mom would hear and we know she can’t talk to me about you
I want to be with you so much
But I don’t know if you have the same feelings
It scares me to death to think that you are just putting on a show
Don’t take me along for the ride
Making up lies doesn’t help
This might be in my head
I think we started this too soon, I thought I loved you
But I just like the idea of finding love
You are distant and it makes me hurt
There isn’t one night that I don’t feel insecure about myself
I hate that you don’t ever give an effort to talk to me
I think you are making up lies
Spare my feelings even though we are friends
I’m really scared you’re going to break my heart, but it breaks my heart more to know you don’t acknowledge me
You’re gradually breaking my heart more and more each day
It’s hard to breath
My parents know I’m sad
I try to preoccupy my time with other things, but I can’t stop feeling the hurt
When two people are in love they should both be happy
I’m not sure you even go through the same things I do
I’m scared if I tell you my real feelings you’ll freak out and leave
And you’ll think even worse of me to think that you would leave me
I want things to work out
I don’t like calling first because I like to think when you want to talk to me you’ll call
You are never the one to talk to me
Better to answer my messages late than to not answer at all
I don’t know what to say to you because I don’t want to ruin anything
It’s making me say something that isn’t me
I’ve become more self-cautious and pretending to be something I’m not
You liked the old friend you once knew
But I’m scared that friend you love isn’t the girl I am when I am your love





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