What's wrong?

April 7, 2011
By elliotearl PLATINUM, Woodbridge, Virginia
elliotearl PLATINUM, Woodbridge, Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 5 comments

You remind me of him.
Frail bones,
to match a milky skin tone.
Hair,
wild as fire,
but curls like the sea.
Rib above
rib above
hill above
rib, below.
A pleasant behavior,
a kind satin hand,
a chosen isolation
and forward mistrust.
Your teeth line up
like pieces of gum,
your faces,
much like elastic.
“Listen to this song,”
you both say.
“Listen to this song.
Tell me if you can
figure out what is wrong
with this world,
with this word,
with this guitar.”
What is w r o n g;
what i s wrong?



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This article has 2 comments.


on May. 6 2011 at 7:55 pm
elliotearl PLATINUM, Woodbridge, Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 5 comments
wow, thank you so much!!

jessicags GOLD said...
on May. 5 2011 at 3:52 pm
jessicags GOLD, San Diego, California
15 articles 8 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I learned that you should feel when writing, not like Lord Byron on a mountain top, but like a child stringing beads in kindergarten - happy, absorbed and quietly putting one bead on after another." Brenda Ueland

elli, I really enjoyed reading your poem. What really was amazing was when I read it in my head I loved it but when I read  it out loud to myself its like the words jumped out of my house and exploded into fireworks. Great poem and I hope you keep on writing!

JGS



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