Meltaway Blues MAG

April 7, 2011
By ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood


Fingers tap impatiently at a windowsill,
Lacquered nails clipping against the pane
Like staccato bullets.
Wet blue eyes widen and dilate and repeat,
Staring out into the grey streets like searchlights,
Expectant beacons grazing dead fields,
Orbs framed in black ink and ice-blue powder,
Frosty remnants of seasons before.
Toes peek seductively out of canvas and leather,
Little cherry-red-petal-pink nibs
Waiting for the kiss of a cool air
And the prick of yellowed grass.
White knees, freshly shorn
From their dark winter coat,
Pulled up tight to meet a sunscreen slick chin.
She waits, has been waiting, patiently and attentively,
A china doll in a shop window,
A pin-up in a magazine,
Only she's just a girl in a windowsill,
Dressed for sunny skies but trapped in a sparkling winter glaze.
She longs for the burn of the sun,
The sizzle of heat and crackle of drought.
She wants to be ravished by the ocean,
Soaked in salt and sand and sunshine.
But she only sees the grey, the nothing,
The saturated, shredded, silky-cold grass,
The succulent layers of rich, slippery soil,
The water-filled cracks teeming with decay.
If only she could stretch out on the fade,
Roll her body in the moist earth,
Cover herself with the filth of nature
And will away all of the wintry clean,
The sparkling sharp freshness of a deep freeze.
She desires to coat her filmy attire with black
And sit on her knees, soaking up the recent past
And everything that was draining away.
But instead, she sits in the window,
Milky fist brushing away stubborn tears
As she dreams of what can be found
Underneath the melted waters,
Behind the dew-specked plants,
Beyond the curved glass of a toy-shop snow globe
That had been sitting too long on the shelf.



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This article has 15 comments.


B. said...
on Aug. 17 2012 at 10:17 pm
Beautiful word flow and perfectly painted picture. I love your other works too :D Thanks so much for your comment by the way. Keep writing!

on Dec. 20 2011 at 5:58 pm
ErisRose DIAMOND, Ashburn, Virginia
50 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
Omnia vincit amor et nos cedamus amori- Love conquers all let us yield to love
Sweat Dries, Blood Clots, Bones Heal, Suck it up and dance!
If they give you ruled paper, write the other way

This poem is simply beautiful. I love it!!

on Aug. 3 2011 at 12:57 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Oh, I bet you could if you tried!  Thanks for the feedback...you're too sweet!

on Aug. 3 2011 at 10:16 am
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

Agreed! The descriptivness is so strong and your word choice is perfect- it really paints a picture in my mind! Also, I love the whole message- I feel this way every winter, but I never could have put my feelings to a poem as well as you did :)

on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:33 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thanks so much!  I'm glad you gave it a chance.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:25 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I agree with everyone, I thought the descriptions made the poem special. I usually hate poems that are this long, but I loved yours! You held my attention the whole time, great job!

on Jul. 31 2011 at 2:26 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

You did a great job with the descriptions!

on Jul. 29 2011 at 12:52 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you so much!  I tend to use a lot of alliteration too haha.

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:11 am
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

I didn't think you were heavy on the descriptors - I thought they were fantastic! My favorite was "the saturated, shredded, silky-cold grass, The succulent layers of rich, slippery soil" - its just so excellently worded.  You are an extremely talented writer!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 10:14 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you!  I tend to be a little heavy on the descriptors, but I'm glad you liked it!

leafy said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 9:16 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

i really liked the adjectives you used, like "cherry-red-petal-pink" and "dew-specked," very creative. keep up the nice work! 5/5

on Jul. 26 2011 at 1:15 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Jusy fantastic! Nothing els to say!

on Jul. 25 2011 at 7:39 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck

In three words i can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost

Live, Love, Laugh - ______

Hope, Love, breathe <3 - Me

honestly i dont think i can find a single fault with it! and i agree, the imagery is fantastic! well done! :)

on May. 5 2011 at 5:19 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Wow, thank you so much!  I'm glad you like it!

on May. 5 2011 at 3:34 pm
Destinee BRONZE, Oakville, Other
3 articles 0 photos 306 comments

Favorite Quote:
Blegh. - Abraham Lincoln

This was amazing! I loved the imagery, the words are just delectable, arghh it's so good!


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